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20121205
20121213
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COM 18
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English 18
Search Results 0 to 17 of about 18 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Dec 4, 2012 11:00pm PST
the fiscal cliff that we ourselves dug and put in our way. it's the set of automatic spending cuts and tax hikes that can only be averted if our nation's leaders are able to display bare-bones competence and middle school level maturity. (laughter) so the there a deal. >> there's, of course, no deal. >> jon: of course! is there there a prospect for a deal? >> there's not a prospect for a deal. >> jon: of course! (laughter) but the ongoing talks -- >> there aren't even very many talks going on. (laughter) >> jon: damn! you're kidding us! give us something! >> but for the first time there are numbers on pieces of paper from both sides. >> jon: numbers on paper! (cheers and applause) we have numbers on paper! from both sides! (whispering snvpld we're all going to be okay. (laughter) how were -- numbers on paper. how were negotiations being conducted before they decided to put numbers on paper? (laughter) were they communicateding by pheromones like aunts? (laughter) vanity cards? is that how this was going? were the two sides just spray painting a side and hoping it wanders past the other sid
Comedy Central
Dec 5, 2012 11:00pm PST
presented their plan, which is to my eyes, steeper than the fiscal cliff we're about to fall off of. where does the simpson/bowles recommendation stand, and are they coming to you now and saying, "oh, we forgot. you guys studied this. what do you think? >> well, we studied it for eight months. and it was tough. we didn't-- we had-- it took us three months to establish trust. these guys don't trust each other. they don't even trust each other in their own party. you've got leaders who are people behind them with a shive hoping they can get their job next go-around. poor old durbin has someone looking over his back because he voted for the package. every time they deal and over in the republicans, boehner has to go to work and come back and there's-- now there are 70 of them left, the tea party guys. these are guys who went to congress not to limit government but to stop it. so what are you going to do? and so here we have this plan. everybody says "i love the framework. i just love--" >> jon: everybody loves a good framework. >> and then that will say what did you do with home mortgage int
Comedy Central
Dec 6, 2012 11:00pm PST
in this country with our election, our fiscal cliff, our inattention to events in egypt and syria that we forget there are important international stories that deserve our focus. and then there's this one. >> yes, exciting the british royalty is expanding am will and kate with preggers. >> see that, it's a royal baby bump, what a joy to be here on this day of celebration. >> there's the picture on the times, we're expecting. and then i love this one, kate's expectations. (applause) >> jon: not bad. kind of obvious, i mean if you want to go with pregnancy puns based on british literature. why not macbirth or why limit yourself to english literature y not madam's ovaris. (laughter) the prince and the hopper. portrait of the fetus as a young man. wait, wait! perhaps dickens was best, a tale of sore titties. (laughter) (applause) >> it was the best of-- the breast of times what an erudite crowd. titties. >> come on, it's just a babbee. you can't tell me british people actually give a crap about this stuff. >> i just come and it's really exciting because-- sorry. >> oh, you're happy for them. >> i am
Comedy Central
Dec 10, 2012 7:30pm PST
% and they -- wait a minute. (laughter) the fiscal cliff, the thing we're trying to avoid, at $1.2 trillion in cuts, half of those cuts were going to be to defense. this has $1.2 trillion in cuts but they're just saying why don't we make the whole thing cut to entitlements and domestic spending and not cut defense at all? basically they're trying to entice the democrats. they're saying i don't want you to fall off this cliff, so why don't you voluntarily jump off this steeper cliff. (laughter) but dent worry, your fall will be cushioned by lava. (laughter) now, obviously it's a negotiation, people take a hard-line position. with the tax rate being the lowest in america since the 1950s, most likely we'll raise the tax for the up 2er% at some point, right? >> raising tax rates is unacceptable. >> jon: okay. so what exactly is your idea of the a negotiation? >> the president's idea of a negotiation is "roll over and do what i ask." (laughter) >> jon: at least once he has you on your back he asks. (laughter) i can't wait till -- (applause) they're applauding the lack of rape. (laughter) (applause) now
Comedy Central
Dec 10, 2012 11:00pm PST
currently engaged in a high-stakes chess game over the fiscal cliff. one of the pieces they're moving around the board is the debt ceiling. president obama recently said that he, the president, should have the authority to raise the debt ceiling not the congress. they use it as a bargaining chip. that's not rye. senate minority leader mitch mcconnell knows what that means >> the president of the united states, now he's asking for an unlimited -- unlimited -- authority to borrow whenever he wants to for whatever amount he wants to? >> jon: (musming) all right. so the senator clearly doesn't know what the debt ceiling means. the debt ceiling is a control imposed on the treasury department by congress in order to, you know, is there just some well informed and respected authority that can explain what the debt ceiling is >> it gives the government permission to pay back the money we already borrowed >> jon: totally right. i didn't understand it because he was talking too fast but i think he's [bleep] right. and i like that lady too. i don't know her. even if senator mcconnell doesn't understand
Search Results 0 to 17 of about 18 (some duplicates have been removed)